A Common Lanzarote Problem

A bloody great panda
Was on my veranda
When I came back after a swim.
He was wearing some shades
And some new rollerblades,
And he told me that folk called him Jim.

I asked him how he
Had got in minus key.
“Oh, that is quite simple,” he flounced,
“Down below is a green
And dark blue trampoline,
And I bounced and I bounced and I bounced.”

Now I’m not one to cuss
Or to make a big fuss,
But I let a long stream of invective.
And I called up the porter
And told him he oughta
Ring up for the hotel detective.

The two of them knocked
And came running in shocked,
With a net and a bunch of bananas,
And they led Jim away,
Though I swear he did say
“Hey, thanks for the silky pyjamas.”